Welcome to 1980!

If you were sentient at any time in 1980-81, and you hung out in New York City, you may have run across a small group of ragtag street urchins, asking you to buy a copy of The Greenwich Mean Times for a nickel (which became a dime, when the broke proprietors realized this was a money-loser). "Funnier than life itself." "Everything about it is a joke, including the price", were the sort of pitches.

Starting with the first headline, "Experiment Proves Cars Can Run on Blood", and culminating with "Malaisians to Perform First Sex in Outer Space", the GMT consistently confronted the serious societal issues of the day, parsing for absurdity, or, even better, inanity, always privileging non sequiturs. But from the mouths of idiots comes truth? Sure, given that everything is true and everyone is an idiot.

So here, now, for the first time in 45 years, special for you, all ten of the four-page issues of the Greenwich Mean Times are available online, FOR FREE, which, as user research has proven, is the approximate value of all web resources.

Here, you can learn that Wayne Newton wore a bladder bag, mirrors cause cancer, how big is a pinhead, and time has run out.

Not only that, but you will also learn the solutions to all these problems. Unfortunately, the Government declined to fund them.

So sit back, lower your expectations, unbutton your top button, you can unbutton all the rest of them while you're at it, heck, we don't care, and immerse yourself in the minds of 30-year-olds in 1980, at large in the land of cotton candy, doing throwaway lines.

Start Reading!

Who Did What


Bios

James P. "Red" Wassenich is known for inventing the phrase "Keep Austin Weird". A Texan, he is also the author of four books. See more at https://en.everybodywiki.com/Red_Wassenich.

Craig Van Dyck writes satire sporadically, always in limited distribution, so as not to attract unwelcome attention. A Texan, he has been stuck in the Northeast since 1978. If you feel that you really must contact us: cwvandyck@outlook.com.

Gerry Mooney is a retired commercial artist, having worked in the NYC market for 40 years. In between designing and cartooning for the Greenwich Mean Times, his illustrations have appeared in Forbes, Parents Magazine, the New York Daily News, Prevention, Institutional Investor, Black Enterprise, MAD, Medical Economics, and several trade magazines. He illustrated three or four ESL textbooks for Oxford University Press, and created a dozen covers for The New Republic.
He is the creator of the famous Gravity Poster ("Gravity. It isn't just a good idea. It's the Law.") which has sold over 5,000 copies.
He spent the Pandemic Years on a personal project, illustrating Charles Dickens's epic BLEAK HOUSE with over 40 linoleum prints, and since then has been blogging, promoting, and lecturing on this personal project.